For the first time in quite a while, and absolutely for the first time at this particular job, I had a rough week at work. I've been antsy and exhausted, and never felt like I had a chance to recharge from the day before I woke up, and had to do it again.This is not the first time I've felt this way, to be fair. Feeling too exhausted to be effective at work is by no means a new feeling. To use another Arrested Development reference in this post,
"I think this feeling that you're feeling, is what we call...a feeling."
Do I think I'm more aware of it because our field talks about it a lot? You betcha. Is it considered as big of a deal in other fields? Maybe, maybe not. But that's a discussion for a whole other day. For now, let's say this: it was a rough week at work. They happen.
But I will also say this: unlike my previous "first year" in a position, I have had a pretty good bad week. Why? I have support here. I have supervisors who will talk things out with me, help me solve some of the things that I struggle with. I have students who uplift me and make me smile even when I'm overwhelmed or exhausted. I have colleagues who help pick up the slack and also will help me smile through the ridiculousness. And I have friends who will talk through all of this with me, with their thumbs or with their words :)
I can honestly say that I had none of those things the last time I wanted to curl up and hide in my office.
So even as the intensity of the coming weeks is staring me in the face, I know that I'll be able to handle it. Moreover, I know that this is building me up to be a better supervisor down the road. Having the ability to contrast a less than ideal work decision with such a supportive one will help me make it to the end of those rough days, even when I can't see the way there on my own.
We all try to strike balance in our lives. Sometimes, we don't always make it there. How do you cope? Who helps you?
I really liked reading this because you emphasize that "bad" days don't necessarily have to be knock-down, incapacitating disasters, and that they test the environment in which we find ourselves. I find that the times when I feel out of balance are almost always followed by feelings of gratefulness; I usually find myself relying quite a bit on those few, close relationships I have with people (being an introvert), and after these conversations, I usually end up with a healthy dose of perspective and increased self-awareness as a consequence. With that, I get the energy to take on whatever project or situation is in front of me, staring me down.
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing this!
I felt the same way this past week! I was so proud of myself for balancing all of my priorities... then ACUHO-I internship interviews hit and I just didn't have 10 hours of my week to focus on that. I ended up being overwhelmed all around.
ReplyDeleteIt's so wonderful that you are in a supportive environment, and that you can recognize the difference between the last time you felt this way and this time!
You can do this! Time to recharge!