This Past Week on Student Affairs First Years: Real World 101

How's he paying for all that? Where does he keep his wallet?

While I typically like to post the link to my posts at Student Affairs First Years, I wanted to share the full text of this one, as it was a collaborative effort. To all who weighed in on the question, thank you!

A major perk of my professional life is that I get to grocery shop regularly. Be it for an RHA program or for a service organization who will be cooking dinner at a shelter, our stringent purchasing card policies mean that when they shop, I shop. And since I shop for groceries the way many shop for clothes or shoes, this makes me very happy. However, it turned into a contemplative exercise today when Greg, the student I went with this morning, casually mentioned that this would be “good practice” for when he moves off campus next semester. I asked him to tell me more, and I learned that he never really learned how to go grocery shopping. I hadn’t realized it was a skill!

As we walked back to campus and he told me more about why he was moving off, my mind wandered to other things I’ve been told students “don’t know how to do.” I speak often of the need for a “real world” class, required for graduation, where seniors and those finishing their college careers learn the skills that we don’t already teach, but that they will need to be successful in life. I took to social media to see what else should be included in this potential course. Check out the responses, which I’ve arranged by category for your convenience! (Thanks to all who gave input, this was a fun way to spend a morning!)

Attire

• Appropriate dress for professional situations
• How to iron
• How to do laundry
• How to tie a tie and properly tuck a dress shirt
• When is a suit buttoned v. when is it unbuttoned

Automotive

• How to change a tire
• How to check oil

Communication

• How to accept and manage conflict
• How to leave an intelligible voicemail
• How to speak on the phone
• How to record an appropriate outgoing message
• Learning the art of appropriate conversation (it sounds silly, but just think about what our students share with us, and how carefree they are in sharing information)
• How to write in cursive
• How to know when something should be spoken about in person v. an email v. a text

Legal

• How to understand a lease
• How to choose a primary care physician
• How to select a retirement plan and other benefits

Money

• How to budget your money (among the most common answers)
• Understanding loans and banking skills
• How to write a check (yes, I know of students who have never done or don’t know how to do this)
• How to responsibly use credit
• How to grocery shop
• How to do your taxes, if only on something like TurboTax software

Moving

• How to contract a moving company
• How to set up utilities
• How to change your mailing address with the post office (I’m fighting that battle in my office right now!)
• Tenant-landlord rights in your state

Other

• How to cook without using a microwave
• The electoral college (which they should be learning elsewhere, but I like the answer!)

What other life skills should students learn about before they leave college? What do you wish you knew before you left?

LAST Week on Student Affairs First Years: "If You Can Teach About Yoga, You Can Teach About Life!"

In a nod to Dodgeball with the title, please see last week's SA First Years post about likening the practice of yoga to my teaching style.

http://www.studentaffairsfirstyears.com/2012/10/if-you-can-teach-about-yoga-you-can.html

Enjoy!

What Have You Learned From Your Boss?

Happy National Boss' Day to you all! Whether we like it or not, chances are the majority of us have bosses "(to the self-employed, you have a boss: it's you!), and today is the day to thank them.

Thank them for who they have made you as a professional, no matter how they've done that. Ann Marie Klotz posted a great question this morning on Twitter, and it really got me thinking about my life as an employee, all the jobs I've had, and how those experiences have made me who I am.

Think about it. In the best cases, your boss has been someone you can learn from. Whether he or she creates intentional learning opportunities, or sets an example for you to observe, you can learn from your supervisor. In the worst, there is an equally powerful lesson. Just as I tell students being in an internship or job that you don't like isn't a loss, but an opportunity to learn what you don't want to do, a boss whose style doesn't work for you is a way for you to know (a) how you don't wish to be managed, and (b) for some, how to not manage those who work with you!

I'll end this post with a few lessons that I've learned from my bosses over the years.

-It's okay to have a bad day at work, so long as you rebound from it and can still be effective.

-Always make sure you have paper and something to write with at an event. Guaranteed, if you don't, someone will need you to write something down.

-Find an office culture that allows you to be yourself. You spend a lot of time at work, you should work in an environment that supports your quirks, your strengths, and occasional silliness.

-Do whatever it takes to develop the people that work for you. Invest in them. Whether that's time, energy, or sometimes money, they will be better for it and so will you.

-And lastly, as a nod to my former internship supervisor/good friend, "You can't wear pajamas in here, this isn't college." (Those who work with me know I take work attire very seriously now!)

To echo Ann Marie's question, what is the best lesson you've learned from a supervisor?

This Week's Student Affairs First Years Post

Recalling a post with big questions for student affairs during a time of year where we welcome potential new professionals: Big Questions for Careers in Student Affairs Month
http://www.studentaffairsfirstyears.com/2012/10/big-questions-for-careers-in-student.html

Can Some Passions Just Stay Passions?

I know it's at times blasphemous to say this in the world of student affairs, but I don't care for the "p" word. It lingers in my ear in an unpleasant way, and I've been known to cringe when people use it in interviews or speeches. 

That's right folks, I'm talking about passion. ::shudder::

Let me preface this by saying that I have no problem with professionals who are passionate about their work. None whatsoever. I think that it's a beautiful thing to be passionate about the work that you do, and it makes it so much easier to be great at it when you are. I just also think that some passions can stay passions, but don't have to be your job. And just so we're clear- I love my work. LOVE it. But I've realized over the past few years that I do better when my passions and my work are separate. And I don't think I'm alone in that.

Let me give an example. I've seen a lot of commercials for institutions like Le Cordon Bleu and Keiser University, urging those who like to cook to shell out thousands of dollars for culinary degrees. The assumption is, if you like something enough, doing it everyday for a career makes sense. 

But what if that's not true?

I love cooking, baking, and decorating cakes. It fills me with joy to take fresh ingredients and turn them into an edible masterpiece. But I have a feeling that doing it for 12 hours a day (or longer!) would suck the joy right out of it. And while we can advise students toward following the thing they love more than anything in the world, I'd rather advise them toward something they are good at, and enjoy enough, to allow them to pursue their loves as they'd like. 

I'll give another personal example, this one more recent. I love live music, and have worked with it in some capacity at work or in my free time since I was 17 years old. And I loved every minute of it. That said, I find that I've enjoyed it more since it wasn't a part of my job. Did working in it for almost nine years (WHOA) turn me off of it? No, but do I enjoy it more now that it's not my job? Sure do!

Think of the things you love to do, things that give you joy in your free time. If your livelihood depended on those same things, if you had to do them without the freedom to decide when and how they would get done, would you love them as much? If so, then by all means pursue them as a career. But if they're your passions because you can do them at your leisure? That's okay, too. Find a job that you like enough, and that allows you to pursue those passions, and you'll be okay.

A Tale of Two Cities

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."

Well, not exactly my accurate thoughts on the matter, but it does set a great stage for juxtaposition.

Bros on the corner, Brighton, MA

As most of you know, I've been living in Boston for about a month now and absolutely love it. I'd been here several times before moving, and knew I would like it, but had no idea how much I would enjoy having it as my home. My commute is relaxing, my neighborhood is small but has everything I need, I'm surrounded by my friends, and it just fits my overall constitution: fun loving and smart, but not ridiculous.

In contrast, I'm sad to report, is the Big Apple. Let me preface this by saying that there are many people who I care very much about that live there, and I appreciate that. However...that city is just very not me. It's bustling, loud, crowded, the public transportation situation causes me endless anxiety, it's difficult. 

As a point of contrast, let me share this anecdote: when I came to Boston for my interview at Emmanuel, despite having endured a ridiculous travel day and getting in at 1am, my blood pressure settled. It settled to a point where it hadn't in a while in Tallahassee, actually. Comparatively, getting off the bus to New York this past weekend, my blood pressure skyrocketed. Not sure why, I just find that city stressful!

All that said, I had a wonderful time this past weekend visiting friends. I got to see some old friends from high school and college, visited Coney Island with them, go to Bon Iver at Radio City Music Hall with one of my oldest friends (since third grade!), and even meet new friends I previously only knew through the window that is my computer. So while I will not be taking up residence in New York anytime soon, I do return time and again for the people.

What towns do you love? What towns just don't do it for you?

Are You A Leader? Well, Are You?

Well, I'm excited to report that I'm starting to feel useful at work! After a few weeks of easing into the culture, which is always a challenge, I'm meeting with students and, as I said to one friend, "saying 'I don't know' less than they are"! I'm starting a pretty big new project that I'm excited about, but it stirred up some interesting thoughts, as did a few other comments over the course of the day.

As the assessment pro in the office, I'm working with our other assistant director to assess one of our leadership programs. It has fallen dormant in recent years, as students start it but aren't following the procedure to complete it. Our goal? To determine why it's not working, and see if an alternate version of this program would catch on with younger students who have not been exposed to either version. However, in looking over the former version of the program, I realized something: this isn't a leadership program. To verify my suspicions, I started hunting around for definitions of student leadership (I know, a dangerous proposition!). Here are two I found that fit the argument I'm trying to make:

from Portland State's Leadership Development Program:
"A student leader, whether in a formal position or not, nurtures abilities in themselves and others in order to make an ethical and socially just impact on campus or in the larger community."

from the George Washington University Center for Student Engagement:
"Leadership is a developmental process which empowers students to engage others in a movement towards positive change."

Now, without detailing the full design of this program, I will say that it is a means by which to collect points for certain opportunities on and off campus. To me, that is less a leadership program, and more of an involvement initiative. The individuality of it, and lack of a reflection piece, are the parts that seem to be missing. Both leadership education and involvement initiatives are worthwhile pursuits, but different to be sure! The students in this program are leading...the rest of their students in points value of activities they choose to record, but are they leading? Maybe, maybe not.

We are very quick to take leadership positions and label them "leadership opportunities". However, in the absence of the direction required to make these students good leaders, does that count? Think of the student who went to a few meetings, and then counts his involvement on a resume (enough of that, and we get the cartoon we've seen above). Or a student leader who doesn't pull his or her weight on an executive board. Is that leadership?
I was affirmed in my confusion about the topic when I saw this message from a friend later that afternoon:

Spencer, you nailed it. Hope you're okay with being on my blog.

This post is not designed to demean leadership education- I love the idea of that, and think it is extraordinarily valuable. That being said, the education piece of that is essential. Don't allow students to think that getting the position is the leadership part. Encourage them, challenge them, demand of them that they actually lead in those roles- and show them what that looks like. 

What are you doing to make leadership roles "leadership opportunities"?